The size of the tent is really good for one person. It's really relaxing. I don't hate small places. My space... it feels like my own space. Well, I wonder if I can enjoy camping alone if it's only one night. Normally, I wouldn't think "I want to be alone". If I can enjoy spending time with someone, then when I'm by myself I can feel the happiness of being alone again.
Come to think of it, I have never been on a trip by myself. Basically, I like being in my own house. That's probably why I don't think there's anything special I'd like to do by myself outdoors. After living by myself for about 10 years, before I knew it, I've become able to do all sorts of things. I'm glad from the bottom of my heart. Even when it comes to cooking and washing up, my body does it naturally and without thinking about it. If you feel hungry you have to cook, right? Because if you only eat out, it will be bad for the health. So my body heads up to the kitchen and cuts vegetables. Before I notice it, I have finished eating and I'm washing the dishes... (laughs). In regards to this, there are people who can do it and people who cannot, and I used to think I'm probably someone who could not do it. Of course, even now I can only cook simple dishes, but I take on small challenges, even with a small repertoire. For example, there's mapo tofu that comes ready made in a pouch, right? I tried adding aubergine to it and it come out really good. Also, I'm finally able to make one person's portion of miso soup, so that there's no leftovers. I don't know to what point I'll continue. But once you try it, cooking is actually quite interesting, and I want to become even better at making the things I can cook.
I'm happy to have time alone at home to watch sports on TV and eat pizza. I can afford to speak loudly (laughs). I also like watching at a stadium, but that's a different thing. I'm not so good at watching with lots of people at a sports bar. People just make a lot of noise and don't watch the game. It's not a bad thing, but I think in my case, when I get home I'll review the recorded game one more time properly. Even if we spend time together, I feel that I cannot deepen the topic if there are too many people. I think that maybe up to three people is the right amount.
If I think about what I'd like to try doing alone, it would be something like going to a live or karaoke. I really like both, but I have never gone by myself... I'll definitely go with someone but I think "it would be a big step if I could come by myself". It would probably be fine once I tried going alone. It was fine when I finally went to a movie by myself. It is said that it's best to see all sorts of things live, and I want to go more and more, but I feel worried to go alone. I don't know how to express my feelings. To express my own emotions about going alone it's... a bit embarrassing (laughs). I wonder if I'm locking away my emotions. I see them sometimes, from the stage during our own live, with their arms folded and looking bored. They're probably by themselves... People around me don't seem to be bothered by it, but I still don't know what to do about it. I wish I could feel free to go by myself. I also like karaoke, but it's hard to find the time to go with someone. There aren't many people around me who like karaoke, and even if they do, there are times when I don't want to go with them (laughs). "He's not someone to go to karaoke with". But I wonder if it's a higher hurdle than going to a live alone. It's just that if the store person found out who I am it would be the worst (laughs).
If you can move on your own, things are easier, so I think it's a really good thing. If you don't move, nothing will start. I do think it is fine for people to be able to live without relying on anyone, regardless of gender. For me, to do a solo play for work ("Nakamaru-kun no Tanoshii Jikan", 2008) became a great experience. But before doing it I always said "I don't want to do it. I want at least two people in the play". However, when the production started, it was surprisingly fun. When I'm in a situation where I have to do things myself, I think everyone feels this way, somehow I get it done. Even the solo play I had at first rejected, once I gave it a go, it was very fulfilling. I think it created a sense of responsibility. The impression I got from doing it alone before it started and after it ended was completely different. I haven't done a solo play since then, but it is one of the things that if there's a chance, I'd like to try doing again.
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